I work at a desk. For the first time in my life, I work at a desk. Gone are the days of retail. Even when I was a manager in retail I never had a desk. Even if I had been given one, there never would have been time to sit at it.
I coveted the idea of a desk job. I’m sure I did so in the way that many people with desk jobs pine to be out and about doing things. They know not what they seek. I had a couple of them tell me at one point they envied me. Of course, they told me this via a midday Facebook post on the day after Thanksgiving while they sat on their asses at home, and I was getting trampled by people wanting discounted dog Christmas stockings. But I digress.
So, at my desk job, I now have a computer that is all mine as well. And my employees don’t want much to do with me other than when they need me, and that is fine. I spend a lot of my time chasing down lost equipment or special projects around my place of work. And that’s fine. But it’s been a strange adjustment.
In retail, one is part of a solid, well oiled machine. You don’t fart without asking some one else on your team if that will take too much time away from productivity. Here, I do things at my leisure and no one is watching a time clock down to the minute to tell me when I have to go to lunch or when I have to be back. No one needs to collaborate with me to get something done. In fact, getting directives via email from a supervisor in an office 10 feet away is the most jarring experience I’ve had in weeks. In fact, I’m almost sure I annoy them when I go into their personal space to discuss projects or ideas.
So, the next best possible distraction from my isolation has been Discord. Specifically my WoW guild’s Discord. All day, I have found a few of my guildies are more than pleased to send me gifs, memes, articles, book recommendations, cartoons and general “hang in there” feel goods. For example, I’ve gotten some great videos about drawing basics to watch now. Or, alternatively, when I took a free moment before lunch, I clicked on a video with cats scaring themselves with simple objects and silently laughed until I cried.
As I ate my pizza on my lunch break, I pondered what the need inside of me was to have a tab dedicated to gaming’s newest, and currently best loved chat program. I realized that the quiet of my desk and the isolation of being not in retail could very well drown some one like me. I’m like a rat who managed to scramble above the fray in steerage only to get up to the ship deck and realize I have to survive alone. The 21st century is such a strange place. Being able to have a virtual hangout all day and still be able to get your work done does indeed produce discord in my understanding of the work place up to this moment in my life.
And now I’ve started a blog to reach out into the swirling depths of the internet and find if there are others out there like me, as well: sitting at their desk job, clinging to slightest signs of life from anywhere nearby.